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New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced today that effective immediately, paramedics in The Big Apple will no longer be permitted to give most intravenous sugar solutions to diabetics.
Mayor Bloomberg stated he was shocked and disgusted when he learned that paramedics were giving sugar via IV to diabetic patients.
“These patients are often obese and unhealthy as it is. Giving them high doses of sugar is insane!” Bloomberg said during a press conference this morning. “The number of calories in IV sugar is astounding” he said. “There is no nutritional value at all”. “Besides, everyone knows the absolute last thing a diabetic needs is more sugar. By giving these people sugar IV’s, all we are doing is enabling their behavior”, stated the Mayor.
Initially Mayor Bloomberg ordered that all paramedic services change to a sugar-free alternative immediately. Upon being informed that no such medication is currently manufactured, he modified his order to allow paramedics to carry a maximum of two 100cc bags of 10% dextrose solution.
“Nobody, and I mean NOBODY needs to carry 25 gram containers of dextrose” Bloomberg stated. “And 50% solutions of sugar have NO place in the hands of civilians. That is hospital-grade stuff” he added.
Bloomberg went on to add “Taking this step will also insure the safety of our city’s ambulance drivers. Once my soda ban is reinstated, hoards of sugar junkies might target them if they learn just how much pure, uncut sugar water is currently carried on our ambulances”.
