Study: 60% of badge bunnies have antibiotic resistant gonorrhea

The Center for Disease (CDC) control has released a startling statistic today. About 60% of the Badge Bunnies in the US are assumed to have antibiotic resistant gonorrhea.

Badge Bunnies are people, typically females, who have a fetish for people, typically males, in uniform. In some communities that have a cop bar, or a firefighters bar, badge bunnies will typically be the few civilians hanging out. It is assumed these civilians hang out in hopes of hooking up with the public safety workers.

A CDC employee speaking on a condition of anonymity told us this. “We started to get reports out of a number of major cities first. The reports were a little confecting but eventually we were able to connect the dots.”

The CDC employee said the key to puzzle was what is called gonococcal pharyngitis. Basically getting Gonorrhea in the mouth. “Officers and firefighters with severe sore throats started to show up in various clinics. Being the end of summer the assumption was sinus infections. The Z-Pak did nothing, or symptoms got worse. Only after repeat visits to the doctor was the gonococcal pharyngitis identified.”

According to our CDC source at this same time a different group of officers was having issues. “At many of these same clinics officers and firefighters were coming in feeling pain when they pee. The doctors were able to identify the these are gonorrhea right away. But it was not till after antibiotics were tried that this was a resistant strain.”

At first the CDC did not see a pattern. But then a realization hit, lots of cops and firefighters are getting gonorrhea. Suddenly it dawned on someone. Badge Bunnies!

“Most of these guys are smart and will use protection. But when in comes to giving oral pleasure, most people don’t think about STD transmission. This causes all the gonococcal pharyngitis cases. Then add to that many guys pick up Badge Bunnies when drinking, so because of Alcohol use they forgo using a condom. This is were all the outbreaks are coming from.”

CDC investigators contacted bar tenders at Cop bars and Firefighter bars in some of the cities involved. The bar tenders gave the names of infamous local badge bunnies. Sure enough the investigators found the majority had the antibiotic resistant gonorrhea strain.

An new treatment regime of injectable gentamicin in combination with oral azithromycin and oral gemifloxacin, has been found to help these infections. The CDC is issuing a blanket warning to all police and firefighters, Badge Bunnies are not worth it, so Don’t do it.