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The Monroe County Sheriff’s Department is investigating a report of vandalism made to them by officials from the New York State Department of Transportation.
DOT officials found approximately 2 miles of roadway had been removed and repaved over the weekend by a local paving company. Upon arriving to work last Monday morning, DOT workers found a stretch of St. Paul Boulevard, running from Route 104 to Titus Avenue had been maliciously repaired.
“We have been working on this roadway for the last three months” stated a DOT official who wished to remain nameless. “Imagine our disgust when we arrived at the worksite Monday morning and found actual paving”.
DOT officials report that the road had been milled in late June in anticipation of being paved at some point in the fall. “Now all that preparation was for nothing” stated the DOT representative.
Preliminary investigation indicates that the new road surface is graded in such a way as to optimize water drainage, and even includes an underlayment mat to prevent pothole formation. “This was obviously NOT the work of any rogue state worker” said the DOT. “This road is built to last. We will not stand for this!” he added.
One St. Paul Blvd. resident said the road was so smooth and even that “I thought I fell asleep at the wheel and woke up in Pennsylvania. In fact, the only reason I knew I was still in New York was because of the absence of porn stores, fireworks and road signs every 13 feet”.
The labor union representing the DOT has requested that the Sheriff’s Office file charges against the culprit for malicious vandalism, theft and disruption of services. “This work was not done by Union workers, or to Union standards” he stated. “DOT workers were robbed of months of wages, overtime and other compensation. This cannot go unpunished”, he went on to say.
In addition to loss of work on current road construction because of the mystery paver, DOT workers face loss of future compensation because of this act. “Our road construction methods require re-paving the area every three years” said state DOT representatives familiar with the case. “The way this section of road was constructed, it won’t need replacement for at least ten years” they state. “Whoever did this is stealing money right out of Union member’s pockets”.
When DOT representatives were asked why a private paving company could complete in two days what has taken them over three months to complete only half way, they stated “We have a schedule. Nothing happens that isn’t scheduled. Our timetable keeps our workers from exhausting themselves”. Representatives went on to state that this vandalism specifically targeted the DOH and its union workers to make them look bad. “By putting down good quality paving in a timely manner, this causes motorists to have unreasonable expectations with the DOT, and opens us up to non-stop criticism”.
Deputies have found several possible witnesses, all of whom refuse to identify the mystery workers. Other than saying only “three guys and no supervisors did all the work”, witnesses refused to cooperate with the investigation. “These guys are heroes” said one resident who would not say any more.
A representative in Governor Cuomo’s office confirmed that taxes will have to be raised in order to pay for returning the roadway to its prior condition. “Somebody’s gotta pay for this, and if we can’t find the guys who did it, we will make sure the residents who are cowardly protecting their identities are held accountable. Nobody crosses a union in MY state” said Governor Cuomo in a news conference.
