Police News

Former police chief James Keller was terminated due to a conflict of interest issues stemming from a disciplinary action. The chief made a mistake worthy of discipline, so he gave himself a suspension. The mayor thinks the chief should have called in an outside investigator to handle the discipline.

Officer Gabe Subry was dismissed from the Abbott police department after it was found he was doing gym business on duty time. The former officer owns Crossfit Lustitia and allegedly was planning workouts on duty.

Police Chief Lucas Picard from the LaBarre police department is taking leadership advice from North Korea. Just as the North Korean dictator has ordered all males to share his hairstyle, the Chief is ordering his male officer to go bald.

The Genetic Information Nondiscrimination Act of 2008, commonly called GINA, was enacted to protect people from employment discrimination based on privileged genetic data. Now according to a group of attorneys criminal DNA databases, and DNA based convictions are a violation of the GINA laws.

Officers Andrew Clark and John Bender were recalled from Basic SWAT training school and are facing a suspension pending the investigation of their supper from Sunday Night. The pair traveled four hours and once checked into their hotelwent to the nearest restaurant, a Tilted Kilt located in the motel parking lot.

The city of Credula police department has enacted a very strict new fitness policy. Previously only new hires had to pass a fitness exam. When this policy takes effect on July 1, all officers will need to pass the test, or face termination.

Second year law student Miles O’Brien was arrested on his way to classes this morning for a DUI. O’Brien is completely dumbfounded at how the police could think he was drunk because he clearly slept, showered and had coffee before getting behind the wheel.

Judge Franklin of the Jefferson county court has made an unusual ruling in his traffic court. After dealing with a contemptuous blogger who is adamantly anti police, the judge decided to re-educate the man on how government works.

The Swanee Creek Times is going out of business. According to the papers editor, the Swanee Creek police are to blame for his paper not selling.

Officer Ted Kramer arrived home this morning to find his bags packed and sitting outside for him. Apparently his wife took offense to Officer Kramer arresting her mom for drunken driving.